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breathe

from DARKWORLD by The Doyenne

/

lyrics

I'm sitting here alone in my underwear
Drunk off Boone's Farm and I don't even care
It's not like I need to be anywhere
It's not like anyone wants me to be anywhere
The sun came up and I still haven't gone to bed
Grindr, Craigslist, hoping to score some head
My bills are paid but time is running out
I've gotta find a job before they put me out

And now, I'm stuck, I ran out of lube
EBT is Every Black Transaction
And here I am, smiling in the face of doom,
hoping to find a way to pay for this room
Maybe I could stand to lose some weight
In this period when all I can do is wait
For someone to call me back
And give me a reason to leave the house

And will a day come when I feel like getting up?
waking up at five AM to catch the train
And when they talk to me, engage me in chat
Maybe this time I will return the exchange
And when I meet the manager, who will likely be white
And when I bleach my words to blind him to this Black skin
And when I sit at home wondering why they didn't call me back
Maybe this time I'll know it's because of what's within

A boiling, rising lack of whims and motivation
The soliloquy threatens to devour my future
But that's okay, because there's a song upon my lips
There's still a song moving my hips, I'm still funny, I'm still a trip
Somebody likes me. Oh, I might not be White Elite
But I am equipped to deal with the pain, I am equipped to deal
with the pain
Of having nothing and no one and nowhere
And no cares, and no air, and no air

I can't BREATHE.

I'm sitting here alone in my underwear. But I'll be alright. I've done this before.
I'm special. I swear it. One day, I'll show you.

credits

from DARKWORLD, released January 15, 2015
© House of Creation, 2015.
Produced, Arranged, Composed, Performed and Engineered by S. Poole.

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The Doyenne Phoenix

The Doyénne (born Syeed DiJon Poole) was a prolific openly gay Black American music producer, songwriter, singer, lyricist, performance and recording artist whose work spans from alternative hip hop, R&B and Electronic Dance Music. Based in Phoenix, AZ, The Doyénne was active from 2006 to 2023, and Syeed-DiJon now seeks to continue sharing his artistry with his next project and persona. ... more

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